Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Hebrew monster strikes again...

Walking to class from my car yesterday morning, I knew I was about to see him. The Hebrew monster was lying in wait for me to enter the room. I was no fool. I had seen him do his semantic dirty work on innocent Mdiv students. I was privvy to his schemes. This would not be our first encounter. Standing at the door, I knew my time had come.

As I took my seat, the Hebrew monster began huffing and puffing, preparing to pounce upon me. I kept my cool and overviewed my flash cards a final time. The teacher walked in, and the Hebrew monster made final preparations. The exams were then passed out. As soon as I turned over the exam, the Hebrew monster made his move. He lunged for my throat. No playing around with this guy, he was going directly for a quick kill, and lunch at that. The situation grew intense increasingly fast. The Hebrew monster was in the air, lunging toward my juglar vein. He was at full strength. At that moment, a surge of adreneline rushed through my veins and I caught the the Hebrew monster in mid-air by his throat. I looked him straight in the eye and threatened him. He was struggling and hissing, and I decided right then and there that I was going to reverse the stakes. The Hebrew monster was now going to serve my grammatical needs, and I told him as much . The Hebrew monster mocked me, "You're bluffing. You've got no strength left." I responded forcefully.


Half way through the test he started complaining that my iron grip was too much for him. I assured him that he was going to be all right. We became friends. By the end of the exam, we were chums. As we were walking out the door, he seemed a little tense, so I asked him. He responded, "You!" and then bolted around the corner.



Then my alarm clock went off. I woke up, drove to school, and careened my way through my hebrew exam.

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Says Simpleton is (c) Ched Spellman
2006-17

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